The Deus Ex Machina (Story Assistance Thread)

[Officer 1BDI]

So, as I'm struggling with my own stories, I see this post by ChiChi234 on the Sign-Up Sheet:

I need help with ideas whenever I write a story, so I figured this would be a good place to ask for help.

And I think, "hey, that would make for a really good thread!" So here we are....

Basically, if you're having trouble with a particular part of your story, and you would like some ideas for how it should be written out, or what a character should do, or just feedback on a plot device, then you can post your concerns here where other people can offer suggestions.

For example, Draconorn's thread about who should be killed off next in her story would fit in here (albeit not all four pages of discussion, but the question itself...).

If you guys don't think this thread is necessary, then you can close it if you want. >_>

[Draconorn]

I think it's necessary, I'm stuck

[Grendel Man]

Yeah, I could come here to get inspiration for story titles.

[Draconorn]

I'm stuck in another low between two bits of action.
Just after Bowser's humiliating death scene, and just before Draconorn's apparent 'death'.

[Sfot]

I've got the basic idea for a story. I have yet to actuly write any of it, but I've already got an idea for a sequel. This is most annoying as I need to focus on the first one before I do anything with the sequel.

If you must know, it was the idea from that plot bunny that started this for me. ><

[Officer 1BDI]

sfot said:

I've got the basic idea for a story. I have yet to actuly write any of it, but I've already got an idea for a sequel. This is most annoying as I need to focus on the first one before I do anything with the sequel.

Gawd, I hate it when I do that. That's how I ended up completely dropping Kayla....

Draconorn said:

I'm stuck in another low between two bits of action. Just after Bowser's humiliating death scene, and just before Draconorn's apparent 'death'.

Do they "die" in the same battle (or even chapter, I guess), or does Draconorn have to get from point A to point B before she kind of kicks it?

[KC11]

I am having some trouble with one of my char's death scenes in my dragon story. I made it way to dramatic. I'll post it later.

[Draconorn]

It's in the same battle.

[KC11]

Here's the passage:

The bird attacked. One plung of the head. Two. Three. Frank was covered in blood now. He held his hands to his face as the bird attacked one last time. Then the beast went back up to join with his fellow skyliees.

Harley ran over to Frank when the skyliee left. He bent down and looked at him. He knew there was no hope. Frank’s ragged breathing was already starting to slow down.

Frank managed to turn his head in the direction of Harley. Then he said, “Harley…. there is someone… I know there is…. someone behind all this…. attacks…. murder… it’s just like it was before.”

“What do you mean?”

“When Noaroth was… was here, ruling…. ruling here. I ne’re told you this, but…. Noaroth wasn’t his real…. his real… name.”

“It wasn’t? Wait… what do you mean?”

“His name… his name was Ra…. Ra…..”

Suddenly, Frank grabbed Harley, eyes in shock.

“Kill him….. you must…. the prophecy says…. I have no time…. no time…”

Frank’s grasp began to loosen. The life slowly left his eyes. He fell back into the ground, staring at the sky.

Harley didn’t remember the last time he cried. He had gotten so used to bad things happening that the tears stopped coming after a while. But now he cried, for the first time in ages.

He then heard a noise from behind him. He looked. It was the large skyliee again. It went towards Frank, ignoring Harley.

“GO AWAY!” he yelled angrily. The bird continued to ignore him. Harley angrily reached into his pocket, as if hoping for something to appear. There was nothing but the old dragon key. He took it out and looked at it sadly. He looked up at the bird.

[Draconorn]

Death scenes should be dramatic, that's fine how it is.
It's really good, it made me sad.*wipes eyes*

[Officer 1BDI]

I kept meaning to come back to you, Draconorn, and I kept stupidly forgetting; sorry. 8(

It's hard to give you advice when I haven't read the section in question, but it just hit me: do you really need filler between the two deaths? If you want your character's death to be significant, dramatic, even unexpected, I don't think it would be bad for her to die immediately after Browser. If his death really is hilarious, then it'll certainly cause a quick shift in the mood of the story, which can catch your reader off-guard and work very well with the flow of the story if her death is, indeed, meant to be "unexpected."

And KC11, I don't think your excerpt is overly dramatic at all. 8)

I'm still suffering from writer's block, but it's an odd sort of writer's block. If I tried to explain the complex nature of said block, I think your heads would implode from the sheer idiocy of my logic.

So let me just ask you this: is it redundant to write about one character being introduced to a major discovery and then follow that chapter with another chapter about a completely different character being introduced to what is, essentially, the same discovery? Because I'm considering dropping everything I've written thus far and simply jumping to chapter 2 because I'm not sure if I'm merely writing the same event from a different perspective (that's fresh and exciting) or if I'm just recapping the original event. 8|

[Draconorn]

Thanks, Officer1BDI. Heh, Bowser's death scene wasn't meant to be funny but when Beatfreak read it she told me it was <_<
I also have writer's block, so I'm writing a different story to cure it. This new story, based on a dream I had, is called the Space Calamity. It is a DIMENSION story, but only a short one.

[Grendel Man]

I have a story idea about a C2 norn and the Albia Sea Bay stuck in my head.

So far, the plot goes like this (really crappy writing):

Norn lives in normal Albia.
While fleeing from grendels, Norn goes through a mysterious fog, falls asleep, and then wakes up in the Albian Sea Bay as an Atlantic MerNorn.
While getting used to being a MerNorn, Norn meets a group of Sea Grendels and Ettins, who introduce him to the Albian Sea Bay.

From there, I'm stuck. I don't have a major plot idea from that point onward. Does anyone have suggestions?

[Draconorn]

Ummm.... maybe you could have something about Atlantis in there? It is a C2 room, after all.

[ChiChi234]

I have the prologue to my most recent story written. I will post it in another topic.

[Grendel Man]

Hey Drac, still looking for ideas on what happens between Bowser's death scene and Draconorn's apparent death? I've got ideas.

[Draconorn]

Yesh, I need ideas! The sooner I get DM part 2 done, the better.
Oh, now that GM reminded me I need help making Aaron's death scene better. It's way too fast and it's pathetic >.< *slams head on table*

[Grendel Man]

I think that you should focus on what somebody else is doing (e.g Jak, or I'd like to see what Titan's up to if he's in the battle scene), or you could have Yllamar get mad at GM for not letting her participate and those two getting into an arguement, before Drac finally meets her "doom," so to speak.

As for Aaron's death-I think that a better one would be once nobody's paying attention behind him, Yllamar sneaks up on Aaron, but he notices, whips around, and winds up unintentionally slapping her in the side of the face. Then a fight ensues, which ends with Yllamar killing Aaron, and the story goes on from there.

[Draconorn]

Thanks, it's great advice. I'll try and fix it up >.<
*slams head on table again*

[Savverz]

Hmm, I want my fight scene with Yllamar to be really dramatic. Something like... something like this:

"You fool, I've got you beaten, you and your pathetic comrades." Yllamar growled. Maraha smirked, an idea suddenly came to her, 'why didn't I think of this sooner', she wondered. She struggled to push herself back onto her aching feet, blood pouring from the wounds she recieved from Yllamar. Yllamar, meanwhile, was just laughing maniacly, probably preparing for her final speech to the dying army ahead of her.

Maraha reached into her hat and when she withdrew her hand, one could see a delicate, glowing string in her grasp. She took both ends of the string and put it to her chest, where her heart is. She then pulled on one end of the string, and it appeared to be attached to a glowing arrow, which she painlessly, and effortlessly, removed from her chest. A large bow, which also glowed brightly, materialized in her left hand. She took the arrow and readied her bow, the arrow still attached to her 'heart' via the glowing string, she aimed at Yllamar, and released the arrow.

*Thump*

Maraha's lifeless body slumped to the floor, but even in death, she smirked evilly like the mischievous little imp she was. Yllamar's laughter was cut short when the arrow pierced her chest, she struggled to say something, but she was completely powerless, and fell to the ground just a moment later.

---

Alright, to be honest, I have no idea how Yllamar will really die, I have no idea what her personality is, I don't know anything. Really. Drac should hurry up and upload the rest of the story!!! Eeeehn! [/whine]

But, yeah, Maraha comes back, she never stays dead, that's how stubborn she is. She's brought back by Insanity in their realm. Or something like that.

It's 2:33 in the morning, and my mind is fogged by exhaustion, pain (my shoulders are killing me), and hunger.